In an effort to avoid studying (and inspired by Vlogbrother John Green…as well as the behavior of one of my cats this morning) I shall now ask Google, “Is my cat…?” and will answer these poor Googlers who have cat issues…
Let us begin….
- Is my cat pregnant?
Well, was (presumably) she fixed? Was she near a male cat? Did you hear that oh so sweet screeching sound of cats going at it? Then yes. But maybe you should take her to a vet or just wait it out and see what happens.
- Is my cat sick?
This is not a question an unemotional cybernetic entity can answer. Please try an actual vet.
- Is my cat overweight?
Yes. If you have to ask, your cat is overweight. Cats, like humans, get fat when overfed and they spend their days playing video-games and not moving their arse.
- Is my cat trying to kill me?
- Is my cat lonely?
Apparently not, since it’s trying to kill you.
- Is my cat retarded?
Again, apparently not since it is plotting to kill you. However, one could argue that since you are aware of your imminent death by kitteh, perhaps your cat is a bit dim and slipped up…or maybe that’s what it wants you to think…
- Is my cat in labor?
Is it a female? Are there small moving creatures emanating from her rear? Then yes.
- Is my cat constipated?
Maybe; but at least it’s not having kittens…or is it?
I hope this has been insightful and helpful! I hope to do this again soon. Any suggestions for a question?